Day 1 Start Over

I'm going to start over. We're fighting again. We don't seem to have patience for one another and we don't seem to be understanding one another.

I was trying so hard last night to talk reasonably, hear her side and explain my side. Why can I never have a side? Does what I think not matter? Is there only one point of view and it is hers?

She says that she cannot communicate with me because I only defend myself and tell her she's wrong. But it is typically telling me what I did, rather than explaining how she feels. So if I did something, it feels natural to me to try to explain why. I want her to understand me, why I do things, how I think. How do I do that if she thinks I'm not listening to what she's saying and thinks I'm just trying to be right?

We made rules at the end of the love dare which included not going to bed angry, not threatening divorce, and not fighting in front of the children. I was trying to talk to Sas last night. Am I just defending myself again if I say my point fo view here? I guess not since she probably won't be reading this. But I was trying to talk to get through the misunderstanding. She continued to yell and scream at me. She threatened to be done with me as well (inferring that she would leave me or kick me out or divorce me or something). Do I deserve this treatment, this punishment? I continued to try to resolve issues and get through it before we went to bed. I'm not great at this and probably made it worse. I got no where and felt I was the only one trying to make amends.

I love Sas unconditionally. I just hope that she remembers what we went through and try to love me unconditionally as well. I am extremely discouraged and disappointed. I feel that we went through this love dar last time to get me to change and treat her like a princess while not seeing any possible room for improvement within herself. Maybe I don't see it. But I'll be paying more attention and try to see and applaud her actions.

just sad today.

Day 1 again.

Do not do or say anything negative to your spouse.

Let's see how this goes this time. I'm doing it on my own. We'll see if she notices.